Irony
by Draco09
Summary: I decided to join the "Hiccup gets the hiccups" bandwagon. Just a fluffy oneshot.


**A/N:** Lol yup I'm trash. Gone for a while and come back and dabble in another fandom while fics are unfinished. Sue me :)

* * *

It was going to happen eventually, and Astrid had warned him about it when she moved in to the Haddock household. She knew Hiccup would run himself to the ground as chief, and she was proven correct when she failed to see him rise one morning. Being a natural morning riser was the reason she was up at such an ungodly hour, but her boyfriend? Not so much. If given the chance he would sleep the day away. The only thing that kept him from doing that was Toothless, who insisted on morning flights on a daily basis, but even he didn't wake up at the time Hiccup needed to get things started for a long day attending to the people of Berk.

The sky was still navy blue when she decided to see if he was awake. It had been too long since he should have awoken and wondered if he was once again procrastinating. Overachiever or not, Hiccup was still Hiccup. Once Astrid made sure breakfast was made and set on the table, she went upstairs to check on him. She made no attempt to stay quiet as she went up the stairs, either, hoping to get a playful rise out of him to get him going. Peeking her head through their bedroom door, she found him sound asleep, lightly snoring every now and then. She muffled a laugh, hearing Toothless stir like a napping cat, cooing softly in greeting before curling up to go back to sleep.

Stepping through the door, she tucking a loose hair behind her ear and gently pushed his shoulder. "Hiccup," she said softly. "Hiiiiccup…"

Either he was ignoring her or in a very deep sleep, he didn't stir. She bit her lip, smiling as she pushed him more firmly.

"Hiiiiccup, it's time to get up," she said, kissing his jaw and deciding to lay on top of him for good measure, hoping it would encourage him to get moving. She heard an intake of breath, and Hiccup groaned at the added weight.

"Hmm?" she heard him mumble, bleary eyes opening. "Wha'?"

Astrid ruffled his already unruly hair. "Wakey wakey, _Princess_."

She got off him, seeing him rub his eyes and groan, before putting the covers over his head and turning his back. "Noooooo…"

"Oh yes," Astrid said gleefully, dragging his arm from underneath the covers and practically taking him out of bed and onto to the floor. Hiccup struggled awake at the impact of the floor, grunting in annoyance as Astrid let out a laugh.

"Why is it always pain with you?" he said groggily, still lying on the floor in a jumbled heap.

"I wouldn't have to do it if it wasn't half past five."

His eyes burst open, and immediately he grabbed for his prosthetic. "Why didn't you get me up sooner if I was late?!"

"Well I didn't expect you to be _this_ lazy," Astrid quipped. Hiccup quickly got dressed, leaving out his leather armor to put on later as he raced down the stairs.

"Oh gods oh gods oh gods," she heard Hiccup mumble to himself as he was trying to find some of the materials he needed for his first task that morning. "Where is that damn hammer? I can't dismantle Mildew's old shack without a hammer! And if I don't get rid of Mildew's house for the new dragons coming in then I won't get to…"

Astrid shook her head affectionately at his talking. "I've since made breakfast if you want some. Don't worry, it won't give you the stomach flu this time." He didn't answer, still trying to find the hammer that eluded him. Astrid looked to her right and saw it on the table, as it always sat. "Hiccup."

He turned around, wondering what she wanted before seeing the hammer, and blushed. "I knew it was there the whole time."

Picking up the hammer, he kissed her briefly before resuming his hurried attempts to be on time. "Suuuure you did, now eat something or I'll shove it down your throat myself. You are not skipping again."

She didn't have to tell him twice, for he seemed adamant on making sure he did eat something and inhaled a piece of bread with some cheese and an apple, a mug of water on the side. Chomping through his apple at the speed of light, he gulped his water down in an attempt to let it all settle in his stomach.

Astrid noticed his quick pace, hoping to calm him down before he went overboard. "Hey, babe, slow down or you'll get si—"

" _HIC!_ "

Hiccup clamped a hand over his mouth, the sudden noise taking them both by surprise.

Silence. And then…

" _HIC!_ "

Astrid was done for as she laughed at the randomness of it all. Hiccup's body jerked a few more times before he could get a disgruntled say out of it.

"Oh come _on—hic!_ "

Astrid was clutching her stomach, trying not to double over at just how unfortunate her boyfriend was at the moment.

"I got to hand it to you, babe," Astrid said as she caught her breath, "this is the best thing you've ever done."

"Haha, hilari— _hic!_ " Defeated, his plopped his head on the table, grumpily hiccupping as he finished drinking his water. "Go ahead, laugh at— _hic!_ —me! It's all just _so_ clever."

Trying to hold his breath only made his hiccups worse, as they seemed to bounce back out of his diaphragm and out his mouth in an exaggerated manner, and Astrid only laughed harder. Valka emerged from the darkness of the opposite room, hearing a lot of noise in the kitchen. Astrid and Hiccup noticed her approaching, looking just as groggy as Hiccup had not too long ago.

"What's going on out here?" she asked, her hair in disarray as she yawned.

Silence fell again. And of course, Hiccup's hiccups ruined it.

Valka gaped for a moment, before her tired brain put it together. Much to poor Hiccup's chagrin, she started laughing, too. It only made Astrid start laughing again, and a pattern began to emerge of his girlfriend and mother laughing harder and harder at his torture. He wondered if they were just overly tired and found even the smallest things—pun intended, considering he was the runt—amusing.

Deadpanning and hiccupping some more, Hiccup got up from the table. "I'm going to attend to— _hic!_ —my chiefly duties now."

* * *

Hiccup didn't know how or why, but the universe wanted him to suffer today. Eventually the hiccups did stop, but only started up again. Twice. The next being when he was making new shingles for a villager's house in the Blacksmith's (which was random, because he hadn't done anything for them to strike), and the recent bout at lunch when he was in a hurry and once again ate too fast. And all the while, he was the brunt of every joke because of his name coupled with the problem at hand. It was not his day.

He returned to his house briefly to grab some wood from the pile in the back of the house, since Gobber needed to make new handles for a few damaged axes, hiccups continuing to plague him. Groaning, he felt like punching something despite being a pacifist. Toothless stood beside him, a dragonish laugh showing his toothless gums.

"Don't you star— _hic!_ —start laughing at me, too!" he snapped. He may have a sense of humor, but the joke died long into the morning. Beside him, Astrid was helping Valka chop up new additions to the woodpile, since the pile had been getting low.

Astrid gave her boyfriend a pout, dropping her axe to give him a hug and a kiss in greeting. "You still have them, babe?"

"Sorta," Hiccup replied. "They ke— _hic!_ —keep coming back! I swear, the go— _hic!_ —the gods hate me! I knew it the moment I wa— _hic!_ —was born."

Valka whipped her brow of sweat, laughing briefly to herself as memories came back to her. "I'd never thought I hear you hiccup again, to be frank. Not since I was pregnant with you, son. Kept me awake most nights with them; poor Stoick slept horribly for a while trying to get me to fall back asleep." At the mention of his father Hiccup dropped his gaze. Valka noticed, swinging the axe over her head to demolish another log. "In a way, it's sort of how you got your name."

"I feel so— _hic!_ —honored," Hiccup said sarcastically, giving Toothless a pat on his head.

"Oh, don't be so dramatic," Valka scolded playfully. "We're just teasing."

"I think they sound adorable," Astrid commented, smirking affectionately.

"Why?" Hiccup wondered, a boisterous hiccup coming out afterwards.

"They're so squeaky and you jolt when you hiccup and I just… I don't know, it's just cute!"

"Oh good! Maybe you'll cat— _hic!_ —catch them!"

"And you get so riled up about it, too. Now stop being such a baby, _babe_ , and grab some wood." She gave his hand a squeeze and led him to the small batch of logs she already chopped. Hiccup grabbed a few, about to go on his way. Astrid stopped him, grabbing his arm to pull him in for a chaste kiss.

"I'll make it up to you for this morning," Astrid said, eyeing him directly once she parted lips with him. "Consider it a bedtime apology for being so mean." The dark look in her eyes was evidence enough for him to have the benefit of the doubt.

He made sure to have the hiccups by the end of the day, just so she can make it up to him in the best way possible.

* * *

 **A/N:** Idk why but I find joy out of giving characters hiccups. Regardless of their name xD I've done this twice now; I clearly have a problem.


End file.
